Teaching Your Child The Difference Between Wants and Needs
Teaching children the difference between what they want and what they actually need is one of the most important jobs a parent can do. It is arguably every bit as important as making sure that they get good grades.
Children who understand the difference between wants and needs are:
- Less likely to be swayed by emotional marketing techniques
- More likely to save money for what they want instead of putting it on credit
- Less likely to throw a screaming fit in the middle of a grocery store
- Less likely to judge their own worth by what they own
The problem is, teaching your children the difference between wants and needs isn’t something that you can do just once. After all, when is the last time you were able to teach your child a valuable lesson in one go? The difference between wants and needs has to be taught throughout your child’s life.
You can start by laying an easy ground rule with your child:
“I will always, always take care of your needs. You will never go without food, clothes, shelter, or school supplies. I am not here to give you everything you’ve ever wanted though. I love you very much and if there is something you want, I will help you save for it and show you how – just like I do. “
This statement pretty much works at any age, any time you are having trouble with your child begging for something that they want, but do not need.
Let’s also take a look at a few specific examples that you can use to help teach your child the difference between what they want, and what they need.
When purchasing school supplies:
Children do need school supplies in order to have a good experience at school and complete their education. And school supplies can be expensive – there’s no way around it!
If your child is old enough, you can hand them the list of supplies they need, and an amount of cash that you are comfortable spending. Carefully help them keep track of the cost of the items in the cart, and have them check the items off of the list as they decide what they want.
Now, the beauty of this plan is that your child will mess up. They will probably pick out the most expensive calculator, pens, or notebooks at first. Take a calculator with you and keep that running total going. Use the experience as a chance to talk about the real value of the items they are ing. Yes, they need a notebook. But can they afford to spend $8 on a single notebook?
Do be careful not to assign the value for your child. The whole point is for them to figure it out on their own while you are there to support them. Yes, obviously a 25 ¢ notebook is better. But your child may attach great value to the $8 one. That is the perfect time for you to help them question why they want it:
- Is it a better notebook? Higher quality?
- Do they have any other notebooks like it at home?
- Does it have a cool picture on the front?
- Is it a “cooler” notebook than their friends will have?
If you can show them that they will have to sacrifice in other areas if they want the more expensive item then that is a valuable lesson too. Just make sure you don’t give your child additional money to purchase what they want – that will defeat the purpose 🙂
Letting your child pick their own school supplies can be an excellent experience for both of you – if you can let go and allow them to make the mistakes right there in the store. It also requires a fair amount of patience, as well as taking things in and out of the cart. If they do manage to get everything they need and stay within their budget, make sure that you celebrate a bit. Tell them you are proud of them, and have an ice cream, or some family time together afterwards.
At the Grocery Store:
Taking your child to the grocery store with you give you a wonderful opportunity to teach them about marketing. It can be a very frustrating experience to have a child who wants sugar-filled cereals, and junk because they have seen advertisements on T.V.
I have solved that problem in my own home by disconnecting the cable, and monitoring what my child watches on video. I don’t expect that to last forever though. Sooner or later my daughter will be exposed to the “advertising machine”.
It helps to have some idea of how you can talk to your child about marketed products – since 99.9999% of them fall into the “want” category, and not the “need”.
You can try all of the following quick ideas with your own kids:
- Ask them about the ad they saw for the product – Why did they like it? Why did it make them want the product? Ask your child if they think their life will be like the commercial if they the product.
- Show them the price difference between the item they want, and a less expensive quality item.
- Allow them to add the single choice of a “want” item to the grocery list – before you leave the house. Talk to them about ing on impulse. If they see something else that they want, you can have them wait until next week and think about the purchase.
- Make them use their own money to the item – Few things drive a point home like having to decide whether or not to spend your own cash on a purchase.
No matter how you go about teaching your children about wants and needs, they will benefit from it. As a parent, don’t worry if you make a mistake, or give in once in a while. Smart purchasing, and money management skills are taught over a lifetime. You don’t have to be afraid to get in there and lay the groundwork for your child. Perfect or not, it will be a firm foundation.
How do you teach your child about the difference between their wants and their needs? Do you have advice you can share with other parents? Please tell us about it in the comments section below!
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